How to Unplug a Banana from the Ear
A Stoic Meditation on Embracing the Absurd
There’s an old joke that used to crack me up as a kid:
A man is walking around with a banana stuck in his ear. Another man stops him and says,
“Excuse me, sir, do you realize you’ve got a banana in your ear?”
“What?”
“I said, you’ve got a BANANA in your ear!”
“What’s that? Speak up!”
Frustrated, the other man shouts,
“YOU HAVE A BANANA IN YOUR EAR!”
Finally, the man with the banana responds,
“Look, buddy, let’s move on. I can’t hear you—I’ve got a banana in my ear.”
Yeah!
I’ve always loved silly dad jokes. They’re disarmingly simple, like little Zen koans with punchlines. But as life unfolds, I’ve realized this joke is also tragically, hilariously accurate when it comes to business, relationships and human behavior.
The Banana Problem
Imagine finding yourself in this situation: someone has a banana in their ear, and you’re the unlucky soul trying to point it out. This is more common than it seems—think of these everyday “banana” moments:
The friend who keeps dating the same kind of toxic person, over and over.
The executive who insists on micromanaging everything, despite mounting evidence that is killing morale.
The entrepreneur chasing another round of venture capital instead of focusing on building a great product or service.
At this point, you have two choices:
Option 1: Yank out the Banana
You could try to rip the banana out of their ear. But who knows what consequences that might bring? Maybe the banana has fused symbiotically with their brain. Removing it might ruin them—or worse, they might think you’re the problem for meddling. What you see as a helpful intervention might feel to them like a personal attack. Nobody likes an uninvited banana-removal service.
Option 2: Recruit an insider
The alternative is to find someone in their inner circle—someone “entitled” to suggest change. A friend or family member might act as an interpreter or even remove the banana themselves. But good luck with that. Identifying the right person is a Herculean task, and convincing them to help? Even harder. People resist change, not just for themselves but for those around them.
The Stoic’s approach to Bananas-in-Ear
So, is it hopeless? Should you walk away and let them live their best banana-eared life?
That depends on your stakes.
If the banana jeopardizes someone’s life or your company’s future, just remove it!
But if it’s just an eccentric quirk, maybe it’s best to shrug, embrace the absurdity, and keep moving.
I’ve encountered countless banana-in-the-ear situations in life. Before I discovered Seneca, I would’ve gotten frustrated. Why won’t they just listen? Why won’t they change?
Rather than fixating on changing others, the Stoics teach us to shift focus to what we can control—our own thoughts, actions, and responses. This isn’t about giving up; it’s about making peace with what lies beyond your influence.
Here’s how Stoicism redefines the banana problem:
Truth 1. Most Bananas Aren’t Yours to Remove
You’re not responsible for other people’s bananas, and often, trying to fix them will only make you miserable. The Stoics teach us to focus on what we can control: our own reactions, efforts, and perspectives. If someone insists on keeping a banana in their ear, well, that’s their prerogative.
You can’t control whether others remove their bananas, but you can choose how much energy you spend trying to help them:
Truth 2. Not All Bananas Are Bad
At this point, you might be tempted to despair at all the bananas out there. But here’s the twist: bananas aren’t all bad.
Take Don Quixote. His delusions of chivalry might seem foolish, but they give his life meaning. His "banana" transforms a mundane existence into an epic adventure. Not everyone values Truth, and if a banana in the ear makes life richer, even if it’s a little irrational, who are we to unplug it?
Truth 3. We All Have Bananas of Our Own
The truth is, we all carry bananas of our own—blind spots that are invisible to us but obvious to others. Maybe it’s a habit, a belief, or an attachment that no longer serves us. While we’re busy pointing out other people’s bananas, someone else might be staring at ours.
"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” - Matthew 7:3-5
By the way, if you see me carrying a banana in my ear, feel free to let me know. I’ll try not to get defensive, but I can’t promise anything—I might be too attached to it.
So what?
I’ve often wondered if the man in the joke was deaf in his other ear. Maybe the banana was his way of blocking out a noisier world? Or maybe it was comforting. But overthinking a joke is the fastest way to kill it, so let’s leave it there…
And what’s the takeaway?
Some people will never hear you, and that’s okay. The Stoic approach is to push for change only until it meets the wall of absurdity.
The true wisdom lies in knowing when to remove bananas from others’ ears — and when not.